It’s natural for humans to experience fear. We weren’t born with it. As a child, we roamed the world, extremely fearless, but more than likely, our parents were the first to instill a sense of fear, within us. It’s not an intentional act, they do it out of love and concern, for our wellbeing. “Be careful, you will hurt yourself!” So we feared diving into the ocean, because there was a chance of drowning. “You need to go to college, so you can get a good paying job!” So we stayed in college, out of fear that we wouldn’t have a job, if we were to quit. Rejection, criticism, and loneliness, and some of the reasons as to why, fear has imprisoned us, for so many years.

In my own personal experience, I allowed fear to deter me from pursuing a career as a screen writer. I wrote a screenplay years ago, and had it put away, never wanting anyone to read it, out of fear that the reader wouldn’t like my work. Through a friend, I found the courage to send my screenplay off to another writer, in hopes that I would get my “big break”. What I got back instead, was the same screenplay I sent off, with red ink marked all over it. She didn’t say that my work was bad, but she did insist on me, taking more writing classes and perfecting my work. At that time, I was crushed. I felt like a failure. I have yet to write another screenplay. Years later, I have grown to understand that rejection is a part of facing your fears, because it allowed me to face them. If I had never gotten the courage to send off my screenplay, I would of never known, what I needed to improve on. It was a blessing, in disguise.

Since reading “The Motivation Manifesto”, I began to apply the lessons I’ve learned in the book, to my every day life, so that I can begin to face the challenges, that will help me, to become the greatest version of myself. Because fear is something I suffer with, I’m trying to do things, that I will help me to loosen the chains, that it has on me. Over the weekend, my mom told me that my God parents were at the house. My God father, had recently suffered the loss of his mom, and she wanted to make sure that I greeted them and send my condolences. Now in the past, my mom and I had huge arguments about this, because she knows that I HATE when she tells me to do something, without allowing me to do it on my own. Since I’m convinced that my mom will never get over this annoying habit of hers, I knew that I had to face my fears and greet them and pay my respects. If you know me personally, you would know that I’m not good with expressing myself, verbally, but I’m able to do so, only through writing. Since this is one of my biggest fears, I decided to bite the bullet and greeted my god parents and verbally express my sympathy, to them both. I know that my mom was extremely happy to know that she wasn’t left disappointed in me, but I walked away feeling like a new person. I never knew how rejuvenating it would of been do something I feared. And so, I decided, every day, I’m going to do one thing a day, that I wouldn’t normally do, to overcome my fears. It builds character and the confidence is an, added bonus.


“We cannot avoid the cruel people we will encounter in life, the more of them coming at us, the more we put ourselves out there, the more we seek to lead, the more we express ourselves and our full potential, the more we are motivated to change the world.  The more we rise, the more they turn up.”

For the past couple of days, I’ve been in tuned, to the current book that I’ve been reading, “The Motivation Manifesto”, by Brendon Burchard.  The funny thing is that this book had been sitting in my Amazon shopping cart for ages, and I don’t even remember putting it in there.  I guess that was the first sign.  Since reading this book, I’ve been feeling a sense of wanting more out of my life.  The author talks about ways in which we allow ourselves to be held back, by our own personal fears, the past, lack of motivation, and especially the people around us.  I’ve been constantly highlighting and taking notes of important information, in the book and constantly asking myself questions, such as, “am I proud of who I am and the person I am becoming?”  I blogged this week about being extremely hard on myself and allowing myself to congratulate myself on my accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.  But often in times, in our quest in becoming the greatest version of ourselves, we experience, setbacks.  Last night, I had a moment, when I became so emotional, based off the opinions of what some people think of me.  I was and still am, extremely hurt that people that I am fond of, would think so negatively, about me.  Through my anger, I went on Snapchat and voiced my opinion on how angry and hurt I was.  Most of my emotions stemmed from events that happened this year.  I just feel overwhelming disappointed in people that I have held dear to me, who have lied, taken advantage of my kindness, and spoke so badly, about me.  Over time, I thought I had managed to get over the hurt, of what I had been through, but I realized that what they did, still affects me.  So going back to the question of “am I proud of the person I am becoming?”  My answer to that question is still, yes.  Despite how people may feel about me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am currently living a life, that I am owning.  It’s a life that I have made many sacrifices in order to maintain.  Most importantly, its a life, that I chose to live.  There are many individuals, walking this earth that have no clue, as to what, they want, out of life.  Worst, they have no clue, about, who they are.  I’ve always been very strong willed.  If I love you, I love you wholeheartedly and unconditionally.  If you’ve hurt me, I have the ability to move on from you, and not allow you to continue to inflict, pain.  What I’m learning from The Motivation Manifesto, is that there are people walking amongst us, whether it be strangers, co workers, friends and even family, whose mission it is, to stifle you, whether physically or emotionally.  Your strength and confidence in who you are as a person, threatens their well being.  As you become more consciously aware, and focused on your purpose in life, they will try to set up roadblocks, to see you fail.  They’re incapable of wishing you well, or wanting to see you succeed.  So at the moment, when I decided to vent my frustration, via social media, it felt like the right thing to do, but in the end, their opinion of me, doesn’t hold the key to unlock my pursuit of happiness.  What I should of done is meditated, to allow myself to calm and think rationally, and then read some affirmations to remind myself of where I am and where I intend to go.  The critics and negative people, don’t have much places to go, because in their quest to continue their mission of hurt, they have yet to realize that blessings don’t come to those who are incapable of showing love.



“Did you use the time I gifted you each day to be a purposeful being? Did you follow your own path and make your time count?  How faithfully did you tend to the dream I sowed in your soul?”

The other day, my friend told me about a friend of hers, who had cancer and had unfortunately succumbed to the disease.  Listening to my friend speak about this woman, really touched me.  She was in her mid 30’s and married for 19 years.  Throughout the many years, where she suffered with cancer, she always devoted life to her religion (Jehovah Witness), she cared so much for others, that she often would put their needs in front of her own.  In her death, everyone had so many great things to say about the legacy she left behind.  What truly captured my heart is the fact that she lived a selfless life.  Despite her ailment, she remained defiant in her beliefs and loving to those, around her.  She never allowed herself to become a victim, or made anyone feel sorry, for her.  In such a short life, she left behind an incredible legacy.  I look at my life, and I wonder what incredible legacy, would I leave behind, if any.  Death is the only thing, that is certain, in our journey, through life.  We put so much importance on insignificant things.  Things that we can’t take with us, when we die.  We allow ourselves to become angry at people and things that have no baring on our wellbeing.  We allow fear to stop us from truly living.  No many how many deaths, we may experience in a lifetime, we still tend to take life for granted.  Everyday, I want to be reminded of how much of a blessing, it is, to be alive, despite the current events that have plagued so many of us, in recent years.  I’m fully aware that crimes, whether locally or foreign, can have a negative affect on how we live.  We become fearful of becoming a victim.  Afraid to try something new out of fear of failure.  Complacent in relationships, out of being alone.  Meanwhile, we are unaware when our time, will expire.  One of my worst fears is to die today, not being able to travel to Africa, skydive, write a book, see my daughter get married and have children.  So many die, so young, that they never get to experience adulthood, and so many of us live past our 40’s and complain about wrinkles and menopause.  I want to continue to live my life, for those that never got a chance to live theres.  That is my motivation manifesto.



Lately, I’ve been feeling very much like a failure.  The perfectionist in me, wants to be able to juggle many different things at the same time, and be successful at them all.  Reality doesn’t allow it to happen that way, and it’s something, that I’m still trying to learn and be able to deal with, without setting myself up for disappointment.  Back in September, I decided to become a vegan.  All the signs were leading me towards this new journey, and I instantly cut out dairy and all forms of seafood, out of my diet.  For 8 weeks, I was on a roll.  I had cravings, here and there, but nothing so overwhelming, that it allowed me to go back to what I was eating before.  Before I knew it, one cheat day, became many and now I’m back to where I started.  Physically and mentally, I already began feeling like my old self, again.  Bloated, sluggish, constipated, weight gain, aches and pains.  Honestly, being a vegan, when everyone around me, is very difficult.  They aren’t motivating you, on your journey, they’ve become the discouragement, that you don’t need.  It’s not intentional, but it’s happening.  I do want to get back on track, but I want to do it, so that it’s a realistic change and that it happens, gradually.

I also put my business, Brass & Sassy, on the back burner, for a while, so that I can fulfill an important obligation, before the end of the year.  Knowing that I can’t put the amount of time and energy into my business, is killing me, but I know the break will be well worth it.  Knowing these things, still makes me feel like a failure, even though, it’s a part of life.  We can’t do it all.  During these times, I am taking some time to read a little more.  Something that I haven’t done, in a long time.  Taking some time out, to be alone in silence.  It recharges me and allows me to focus on what is truly important, even if it feels like a setback.

Restarting this blog, is something that I am proud of.  Last week, I went through writers block and didn’t write a single post.  I’m still feeling much the same, but I figure, that I write, whatever is on my mind, even if it makes no sense.  Someone out there, will be able to relate and find some solace, in knowing that they are not alone.  In the meantime, I’m learning not to be so hard on myself.  That it’s important to pace myself and allow things to happen, when it’s meant to be.  Don’t take everything so seriously.  Make mistakes and learn from them.  Setbacks, only mean that it will take a little while longer, to complete.



On my blog, “Pieces of Patty”, I wrote about synchronicity and I how it’s been so strong, since I had my daughter.  The frequency level has been its’s strongest, this year and I rely on numbers and signs to lead me to the direction, for which I shall go.  Today, I saw 555, at 5:55.  I don’t usually see that number.  I often see 111, 1111, 222, so I decided to look it up, to get a better understanding, of its meaning.

“Angel Number 555 tells of significant and necessary changes happening in your life that have been divinely inspired and guided.  These changes will bring about long-awaited circumstances and results and will fully align you with your true divine life purpose and soul mission”

I’ve learned to understand the importance of change and that we all need it, to bring about growth to carry us through our journey, in life.  Lately, I’ve been reevaluating my circle, whether it be friends, family, and associates.  For the most part, I’m very content, with the people in my life, but there are some people, that I truly feel, need to either be held at arms length, or removed entirely.  I have so much respect and admiration and love for those that are closest to me.  But I realize that some aren’t capable of doing the same.  And realizing this hurts.  I’m a very sensitive person, though my outside appearance and outspoken ways, may say differently.  When I feel like I can’t trust you, or your love for me isn’t genuine, I begin to remove myself.  Seeing 555, made me realize that it was once again, time to do some cleaning, and reevaluating.  It’s either I accept people for who they are, or tell them, they have served their purpose and go our separate ways.  I’m not one, to stay in unhealthy relationships, for long.  My happiness means so much to me, that I’m willing to disconnect myself from anyone or anything, that threatens to take it away.

“Angel Number 555 is a message from your angels that it is time to let go of the old that is no longer positively serving you.  Trust that they will be replaced with better.  Release old doubts, fears and perceived obstacles, and if feeling any fears or confusion, ask for support and guidance from your angels.  Know your angels are with you, always”

Your vibe attracts your tribe, and we may not realize that though we may not behave in the same manner, their vibrations affect you too.  If my true divine purpose in life, is to be surrounded by those that are moving in the same wavelength as me, I’m more than willing to make it happen.  It took me a long time to leave an unhealthy relationship, which I didn’t know I would have the strength to do, but I did it, but I’m much happier than I’ve ever been.  You have to truly believe the you are deserving of all good things.  It’s not given to a select few, but to EVERYONE.  It doesn’t matter what you may have done in the past.  I always felt like good things didn’t happen to me, because I was being punished for things I did in the past.  So not true!  It’s until I began to truly love myself, is when I realize that I’m worthy and deserving of love.  The fear of being alone has kept so many of us stagnant in unhealthy situations.  I find my greatest strength in silence.  God talks to me constantly, in silence.  Allow yourself to be open and willing to love yourself more than you are willing to love anyone else.  Let go of the illusion of fear, and allow the angels to guide you.



This past weekend, I attended the 4th annual BRT (Beach Road Trip) weekend, that took place in Islamorada.  This was my second time, attending this event, the first being in 2013.  It was a last minute decision to attend it, this year.  My friend was lucky to get a hotel room, since most had already sold out, by the time we decided to go. We purchased a Regular Admission, weekend pass and drove down Friday night, in time to attend the second of the Day 1 event, “Maui Wowi”.


As I walked in, my friends and I went to the bar, to fill up our BRT cups, which I had hoped would be of top shelf liquor.  I was disappointed, once again, to see brands, that I am unfamiliar, with, being served at an ALL INCLUSIVE event. Soca artist, Bunji Garlin was slated to be the host of “Maui Wowi”.  I was excited to see Bunji Garlin, since he was the only soca artist represented, for the entire weekend.  I was soon disappointed, when I saw a number of other artist, on stage, who were not advertised, singing for a lengthy time, while the host himself, spent no more than 10 minutes, singing “Ready For The Road”, and “Carnival Tabanca”.  The party ended soon after his performance, which was 30 minutes before the advertised time on the flier.  I assume it is because they knew it would take a certain amount of time, to get the patrons out of the venue.

Hog Heaven, is the where the after party takes place.  The admission, was 20 dollars, per person.  Dutty Dex was playing, on the set and the venue wasn’t over capacitated, which allowed me to dance and have a good time.  At about 4 am, I headed to my hotel, Rock Reef, to check in.


Day 2, event 1 was “Wet N Wild”, which I was excited to attend, since I didn’t get a chance to go, when I went to BRT back in 2013.  The venue was right near the ocean, which was ideal, for this party.  There was a wet and dry zone.  Bar set up in the back, and VIP area was off to the side.  I had a great time, at Wet N Wild.  The music selection was great and thankfully, the soca played for more than 5 minutes and the crowd seemed to enjoy it too.  Like the night before, the music stopped, prematurely, without proper announcement.


Day 2, event 2 was “Pure Glow”.  I attended this event in 2013, and had a great time that year, so I excepted to have the same this year.  As I walked into the venue, I knew that that wouldn’t be the case.  The venue was absolutely too dark.  The VIP was in front of the stage, with a railing to separate them from those that had Regular Admission bands.  I couldn’t see the stage, much less anyone that was standing, near me.  I expected glow sticks and illuminating lighting.  The musical selection was horrible.  The same rotating tunes and not a diverse selection of music.  The party was over within an hour and a half of me reaching there, and I never felt so happy.  Once again, the after party was at Hog Heaven.  This night, the crowd was massive and the line was extremely long.  We decided not to go inside.  Instead of going back to my hotel at 11 pm.  My friends and I decided to take the party to our car.  We had top of the lines drinks and I had a good damn time.


Day 3, event 1, was “Day Break”, which is BRT’s version of a breakfast party.  Now, being Trinidadian, and attending MANY, breakfast parties, you know what to expect.  A nice spacious venue.  Soca in full rotation, with danchell and hip hop and house music.  A large selection of breakfast to choose from and drinks.  Once again, this wasn’t it.  As I walked in the venue, soca music was playing.  The crowd seemed very bored and unamused that soca was playing.  I of course, start to wine my waist, because I knew that we weren’t getting much of it, throughout the day.  When the soca session was over, the dj had to remind those that complained about soca, that musical selection is supposed to be soca and 90’s dancehall, not the latest Kartel and Popcaan.  The sun was extremely hot and not much to keep you cool.  The most upsetting part of the event was going to the bar and asking for WATER, and told there weren’t any.  I asked for Vodka and orange juice and there weren’t any.  At that point, I asked the bartender to pour anything in my cup.  Day Break ended at 4, which left about a 2 and a half hour gap, before the final party of the weekend “All White”, were to begin.


At this point, I had absolutely enough of BRT, but I still decided to attend the “All White” party.  The party took place at the same venue as the “Wet N Wild” party.  This party had 4 times the number of people, as that one, so you already knew that space wouldn’t be limited.  The musical selection, once again, was very disappointing.  Thankfully, the Hennessey gave me the energy I needed to dance and enjoy the last night of this weekend.  There was a very small time frame for soca, which didn’t surprise me.  More of the 90’s dancehall was played this night, to my satisfaction and a lot of hip hop.  The party ended at about 10, with no warning.  And just like that, BRT was OVER.

I knew from last night, that this would be my last BRT weekend. Honestly, what I am accustomed to, in an all inclusive event, given by Trinidadian promoters, isn’t what I get with BRT.  There weren’t any top level drinks available, unless you were buying bottles.  For such a large scale event, there should be more bar locations, stationed throughout the venue, instead of just one, where the girls aren’t interested in flirting with men, than they are, in serving drinks.  The venues, aren’t ideal for an all inclusive event.  They are cramped, and dark, at night.  Decor is very big on me.  I like to see flashing lights, cool zones, in the day time.  Musical selection is HORRIBLE.  I am fully aware that the majority of the patrons, that attend BRT are Jamaican, but at the same time, you have to mix up the genres, to satisfy everyone.  There wasn’t much of any techno, house, african music played at all.  When I attend a soca event, ALL genres are represented, even though the majority of the crowd, is Trinidadian.  It’s ideal for an all inclusive event.  Many of the sounds that were advertised to play at BRT were a no show.  For the money I paid to attend this weekend’s festivities, I didn’t get my monies worth.  I had a great time with my girlfriends, but that’s something I can do on any getaway.  BRT has grown, since I attended in 2013, which should also mean that you raise up the bar, as far as leaving the partygoers eager for next year, and I felt like the promoters fell short of doing that.  It felt like just another party, I would go to in Ft Lauderdale.  Nothing memorable, except for the fire works, at the “All White” party.  They are taking BRT to LA next year, which in my opinion, isn’t a smart one.  I think they need to regroup and focus more on what they have in Islamorada, before expanding it, elsewhere.  Improve on the events.  Get better djs, go outside of dancehall, and get some from other countries, to try and bring in a mix of people to this event.  BRT has turned into a “garrison” getaway.  Dancehall music, bottles popping, and video light.  BRT needs to be an ultimate experience, weekend getaway, to party, like you haven’t partied before.  But I felt like I was right at home.

Again, this review is of my experience, alone.



This isn’t a question, its a known fact.   Your beliefs, mold and shape the road map to your life.  We are what we believe.  We act on our beliefs.  Our thoughts are our beliefs.  I’m currently doing the 21 day meditation experience that Oprah and Deepak does, quite often, throughout the year. The topic on this meditation experience is our BELIEFS.  I get very emotional, when I’m in this process, because it opens up my mind and soul, to certain things about my own self, that I tend to hide.  This year especially, I’ve begun to challenge, all the things that I’ve been programmed to believe.  I began to question my career choices, which led me to quit my job, and college.  I began to question my friends and acquaintances, which led me to distance myself from a number of people.  I began to question, the many things that I was forced to learn about the history of my culture and race, which allowed me to become more “radical” and outspoken, against the injustices of my black brother’s and sisters.  I began to question the bible, and religion, as a whole and it made me realize that I don’t want to practice the teachings of a book, I’m not even sure to be true, but to obtain more spirituality, in my every day life.  Because of these changes, I began to feel more free.  My beliefs are my own, and not of those of my parents, family, and friends.  I’m beginning to live a life, that allows me to be free of doubt and fear.

The beliefs, we have, about ourselves, have been programmed, into our mind space, over the course of our lives.  As a child, children would often make fun of the way that I spoke.  My voice naturally drags, and because of that, I was often mocked and teased.  I grew up thinking that something was wrong with the way I spoke, which in return, made me hate it.  To avoid, being picked on, I became anti social.  Not wanting to speak, so I wouldn’t face the fear of being picked on.  The belief I had in my true self, was that I was abnormal, because I spoke differently.  I still struggle with this belief.  Even though I know that what I believed to be true, was untrue, it’s taking some time, to regain the power of owning my true self.

So within the next couple of weeks, I will touch base on this topic, associating with our beliefs, and who we truly are, versus what we want people to believe.



I can’t believe that I’m back in 2009 again. Back to when I wanted an outlet to creatively express my desires and my thoughts, to complete strangers. Back to when I had to idea, that I, would be forever branded as “Chatty Patty”. It all feels so surreal and yet it feels like it was meant to be. Patience and timing seems to be the theme of my life, as of lately. Most Aries are impatient, like myself. We get so excited when we have a vision of what we want to happen. We are natural go getters and we want, what we want, yesterday. The day, I realized, I lost “The Real Chatty Patty”, I felt like I had failed. Motherhood overwhelmed me, to the point where I had stopped writing, and losing access to my blog, seemed to be the final straw. It was God’s way of telling me, that I no longer made use of my gifts, and that it was taken away, so I can appreciate it, again. Creating “Pieces of Patty”, got my creative juices flowing again. Though I didn’t blog as often as I had hoped, it still allowed me to feel like I was 29 years old again, when I was eager to make my voice heard, in a world, when it can be easily silenced. When I lost “Pieces of Patty” too, because I forgot to update my card information, it was by pure desperation, that I revisited the domain name, “therealchattypatty”, only to discover that it was available to me, once again. I’ve never been so happy, to be reunited with my baby. We’ve been through hell and high waters, and through it all, I became a mother, a college drop out, a small business owner, and a single, 35 year old. I have to honestly say, this is the best time of my life. I feel such a great sense of renewal. I feel like nothing can stand in my way. The impossible is always possible. I have no plans on what I want to do with this blog. I want it to feel like, free flowing, thoughts. No structure or rules, to go by. I’m so happy for all of you, who stood by me for the past 6 years. You saw something in me, that I didn’t see in myself. I thank you and I welcome you to the rebirth of THE REAL CHATTY PATTY!