Lately, I’ve been feeling very much like a failure. The perfectionist in me, wants to be able to juggle many different things at the same time, and be successful at them all. Reality doesn’t allow it to happen that way, and it’s something, that I’m still trying to learn and be able to deal with, without setting myself up for disappointment. Back in September, I decided to become a vegan. All the signs were leading me towards this new journey, and I instantly cut out dairy and all forms of seafood, out of my diet. For 8 weeks, I was on a roll. I had cravings, here and there, but nothing so overwhelming, that it allowed me to go back to what I was eating before. Before I knew it, one cheat day, became many and now I’m back to where I started. Physically and mentally, I already began feeling like my old self, again. Bloated, sluggish, constipated, weight gain, aches and pains. Honestly, being a vegan, when everyone around me, is very difficult. They aren’t motivating you, on your journey, they’ve become the discouragement, that you don’t need. It’s not intentional, but it’s happening. I do want to get back on track, but I want to do it, so that it’s a realistic change and that it happens, gradually.
I also put my business, Brass & Sassy, on the back burner, for a while, so that I can fulfill an important obligation, before the end of the year. Knowing that I can’t put the amount of time and energy into my business, is killing me, but I know the break will be well worth it. Knowing these things, still makes me feel like a failure, even though, it’s a part of life. We can’t do it all. During these times, I am taking some time to read a little more. Something that I haven’t done, in a long time. Taking some time out, to be alone in silence. It recharges me and allows me to focus on what is truly important, even if it feels like a setback.
Restarting this blog, is something that I am proud of. Last week, I went through writers block and didn’t write a single post. I’m still feeling much the same, but I figure, that I write, whatever is on my mind, even if it makes no sense. Someone out there, will be able to relate and find some solace, in knowing that they are not alone. In the meantime, I’m learning not to be so hard on myself. That it’s important to pace myself and allow things to happen, when it’s meant to be. Don’t take everything so seriously. Make mistakes and learn from them. Setbacks, only mean that it will take a little while longer, to complete.