WICKED INTENTIONS

“We cannot avoid the cruel people we will encounter in life, the more of them coming at us, the more we put ourselves out there, the more we seek to lead, the more we express ourselves and our full potential, the more we are motivated to change the world.  The more we rise, the more they turn up.”

For the past couple of days, I’ve been in tuned, to the current book that I’ve been reading, “The Motivation Manifesto”, by Brendon Burchard.  The funny thing is that this book had been sitting in my Amazon shopping cart for ages, and I don’t even remember putting it in there.  I guess that was the first sign.  Since reading this book, I’ve been feeling a sense of wanting more out of my life.  The author talks about ways in which we allow ourselves to be held back, by our own personal fears, the past, lack of motivation, and especially the people around us.  I’ve been constantly highlighting and taking notes of important information, in the book and constantly asking myself questions, such as, “am I proud of who I am and the person I am becoming?”  I blogged this week about being extremely hard on myself and allowing myself to congratulate myself on my accomplishments, no matter how small they may be.  But often in times, in our quest in becoming the greatest version of ourselves, we experience, setbacks.  Last night, I had a moment, when I became so emotional, based off the opinions of what some people think of me.  I was and still am, extremely hurt that people that I am fond of, would think so negatively, about me.  Through my anger, I went on Snapchat and voiced my opinion on how angry and hurt I was.  Most of my emotions stemmed from events that happened this year.  I just feel overwhelming disappointed in people that I have held dear to me, who have lied, taken advantage of my kindness, and spoke so badly, about me.  Over time, I thought I had managed to get over the hurt, of what I had been through, but I realized that what they did, still affects me.  So going back to the question of “am I proud of the person I am becoming?”  My answer to that question is still, yes.  Despite how people may feel about me, it doesn’t change the fact that I am currently living a life, that I am owning.  It’s a life that I have made many sacrifices in order to maintain.  Most importantly, its a life, that I chose to live.  There are many individuals, walking this earth that have no clue, as to what, they want, out of life.  Worst, they have no clue, about, who they are.  I’ve always been very strong willed.  If I love you, I love you wholeheartedly and unconditionally.  If you’ve hurt me, I have the ability to move on from you, and not allow you to continue to inflict, pain.  What I’m learning from The Motivation Manifesto, is that there are people walking amongst us, whether it be strangers, co workers, friends and even family, whose mission it is, to stifle you, whether physically or emotionally.  Your strength and confidence in who you are as a person, threatens their well being.  As you become more consciously aware, and focused on your purpose in life, they will try to set up roadblocks, to see you fail.  They’re incapable of wishing you well, or wanting to see you succeed.  So at the moment, when I decided to vent my frustration, via social media, it felt like the right thing to do, but in the end, their opinion of me, doesn’t hold the key to unlock my pursuit of happiness.  What I should of done is meditated, to allow myself to calm and think rationally, and then read some affirmations to remind myself of where I am and where I intend to go.  The critics and negative people, don’t have much places to go, because in their quest to continue their mission of hurt, they have yet to realize that blessings don’t come to those who are incapable of showing love.

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