“I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.”
― Rita Mae Brown
On Wednesday’s, be sure to check out numerous postings, on your timeline, featuring #wcw, better known as Women Crush Wednesdays. I have to admit, that I have posted my own share of #wcw postings, on my instagram, but found myself wondering why we as women, are so eager to crush on another, when so many of us, don’t even have a crush on ourselves? Social media, has enabled us to invest hours out of our day, admiring and obsessing over friends, strangers and celebrities, but how much are we investing into our own lives?
Within, 5 minutes of browsing, our timeline, the layers of confidence that we possessed, prior to logging on, have now been stripped away. Confidence is replaced by feelings of unworthiness and comparison. When I found myself, feeling like I wasn’t good enough, cause the next chick on my timeline is on a private yacht, on some caribbean island, while I’m stuck home, wondering when my next vacation is going to be, I knew it was time to take an escape, from it all. Let’s face it, beauty (according to some) is based on followers, likes, and not to mention, money. The amount of time that women take to get the “perfect” selfie, can be as long as 30 minutes. Everyone is happy on Instagram. Sadness doesn’t exist, and money is never at a low. The perfect body is achieved by a South American plastic surgeon, and a waist trainer. Everyone drinks slim tea in the morning, film themselves in their Benz and BMW, lip-synching to their favorite trap tune.
It’s an illusion! And though many of us know that people are faking the funk, we still find ourselves becoming fooled by their lies. There is nothing wrong in admiring another woman, and to acknowledge her beauty. We need more unity, amongst women, especially in a time, when we are being taught to compete and hate, one another, but the best relationship and love we should first have, is the one with ourselves. Through many forms of reading and consuming my time, in motivational material, I realize how important is it to spend time with ourselves. During some of my alone time, I’m beginning to analyze myself, and magnifying things about myself that I admire and the things that I wish to change. It isn’t easy to do so, it’s like writing a memoir on your own life. When I begin to do this, I start to peel off the layers, for which has began to clothe me. Many of the layers aren’t who we are. Writer, designer, student, daughter…those are titles, they aren’t who we are, it’s what we do, and the roles we play, in life. When I think of myself, I describe myself as vulnerable, difficult, and yet forgiving, impatient, love, dreamer. When I look at my outer appearance, I see beauty, that is my own. I see a woman, that’s showing signs of aging. Fine lines and gray hair. The only way to slow this process is by death, and since God continues to bless me every morning, with life, I’m embracing this privilege of maturing, with age. I don’t want to filter my life, my appearance or my personality. Living in pretense, has no value. Admiring someone else, when we can’t name 5 things about ourselves, that we love, is pointless. Like Maya Angelou said, she fears anyone that lacks a love, within themselves. A person, who is unable to love themselves, whole heartedly, is a threat to society and to themselves. To accomplish this, is very difficult and it’s something that you have to work hard to maintain. The world that we live in, doesn’t allow for this process to be an easy one. It’s plagued with images promoting beauty that is unrealistic, to obtain. We have to be realistic, with who we are. We were created by God, to live amongst a population of people who are unlike, anyone else. Just like your fingerprint, you can’t be duplicated. Now isn’t that something to celebrate!